Wonderful people and others ignorance

So fun fun. I hate looking at profiles of people who are related to me. I mean sometimes its as if they purposely distaced themselves from my parents, my brother and I. I mean shit no one is perfect, but its a crime for any jackass who purposely made it their descision to not spend time with us!! I mean my mom and dad were and are incredible parents. They're smart, funny, generous, kind, wonderful grandparents and have been really good to us!! I mean i know we didn't always have alot, but they are good to their family. My dad can be a bit boistrous when he's drunk, and mom can be emotional. My family is wonderful, and I feel bitter toward anyone who doesn't appreciate their unique spirit and charm.

So today i am going to go to the walk-in Clinic at Des Moines Broadlawns medical center. I was supposed to be taking meds due to the fact that i had PPD after i had my daughter, and stopped taking the medications i was taking. I hate Zoloft, and don't like the way it made me feel, it stopped the weeping, but that was it. Now i think my post partum depression, (PPD) has proven i have severe depression. I suspect i have always had it, but it was easier to hide prior to kids. They really test your patience, and unfortunately, that is something i don't need.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. I am taking my kids to my parents house to spend time with them. My parents live about 50 miles away from us, yet we rarely see them unless they come to Des Moines. So a few months ago i started a one weekend a month visit with them so the kids can spend time with them and so that i can as well. I mean the main reason i ever tried to talk my wonderful hubby into moving here was so i could be closer to them, and yet when i worked i rarely saw them, and even since the kids were born. I mean, whats the point in being a mere 50 miles away and not seeing them but maybe one weekend a month when they come up to Des Moines for something. This way the kids are able to spend 3.5 days with them, (1.5 with each at least due to working) and then if they still come up to Des Moines and visit we see them then. This weekend is mother's day. While it is a bad weekend for my hubby due to the loss of his momma a few years ago, I want to try and make up for all the shitty things i have done in regards to my own. While she considers me her best friend, i know i haven't always been a good friend, and have at times been hurtful to her. I know she has on more than one occasion been the same to me, but she thought that her criticism was helping. I feel bad for the numerous occasions where i could have been a far better daughter, and feel lucky to have such a wonderful and understanding mother. Isn't it sad how we can feel close to someone when they never really let you know who they are. I mean my mom is wonderful, but she has put a wall up, one that no one will ever penetrate, not even my father who has been married to her over 30 years. My mom has secrets, as all of us do, and she's afraid to let them surface. I'm not saying she's a bad person, cause that, i know isn't true at all. She's kind, loving, giving, sensitive, warm, beautiful, funny, smart, shy, very judgemental at times, and wonderful. I mean i aspire to be as great as a momma as she has been to me.

My dad, he's a whole different story. He's a social butterfly, like that of my husband. He's loud, warm, funny, generous, opinionated, smart, really smart, a wonderful painter, a great gardener, hunter, fisher, wow the list goes on and on. But people don't understand my dad. While he isn't shy and has no problem standing up in front of large groups of people (he loves karaoke), he's surprisingly sensitive, warm, and afraid that people will hurt him and that they won't appreciate him for who he is. Now I'm under no illusions, that my parents are people, adults, but they are my mom and dad, they're just as sensitive to rejection as any individual is. As we grow, married couples or simply couples with children and get older, friends tend to dwindle, especially couples, which in my opinion are the only type of friends married couples need. My parents have had trouble keeping these friends around. Be it because of the things my brother and i have done as we have grown, or the fact that the people they called friends weren't at all. To that... Bryce Travis, you're a prick!! I feel bad sometimes, but i just don't get how anyone can't appreciate them.

On that note I as well am an acquired taste. I'm loud, crack weird jokes, i like to pick fun at people. I am grouchy, and don't like to be disappointed by people. If a friend screws me over, then i don't want to hang out with them again. I just don't' want to set myself up for hurt. I mean, i have one friend I've had since 9Th grade, she's been there, she's not perfect but she's never let me down, she's the exception to the rule. I just dont' have the patience for bs.

More later on!!

Tuesday morning

I hate mornings anymore. I didn't get any sleep, and am still having my visit from aunt Flo. You know my body is a freaking mess. If I'm getting said visit then i feel like crap, which I'm sure most women do, and i tend to forget how since i have a visit maybe 6 times a year. I remember in high school i had horrible cramps that left me bed sick for days, to where my momma would give me hot water bottles and things like that to make life more bearable. Its weird the little things we remember from childhood. I remember being super sick in high school, my freshman year, i was bedridden for like almost 2 weeks. It was horrible, mom didn't know what it was, and i felt like i was dying. I don't remember if i was vomiting or what but i remember Laura Coons and Joe Gonzalez being the only friends of mine who came to visit me. I remember being stuck in bed, super sick, lost lots of weight, and felt like i wouldn't make it through. I remember crazy wicked ear infections from when i was a little kid, elementary age and still to this day have ear sensitivity and tend to always get them when i get a bad head cold. I remember a vicious flu I've had maybe 6 times in my 27 years, that when i was a kid left my head spinning and my balance off.


Back to the present. I can't wait for the hubby to get his CNA certificate and start working there. I hope he decides what he want to do for the rest of his college career. I think a research doctor would be a great career for him. He's smart and he'd continually learn, or nursing, his momma, aunt, grandma and father all got their degrees in nursing, i think he should do the same.
So i made some pesto spaghetti with pine nuts for lunch with some sugar snap peas and garlic bread. It was so cute watching my son eat spaghetti. He just piles it in his mouth.



I got a picture of it above.


I swear, this little guy is so stubborn. I think its all kids, but honestly i can't just lump it on them cause i think its a human thing.


So... i'm watching maury right now. I swear some people are just so trashy. If you don't want to be faithful to someone don't let your relationship get to the extent where you are supposed to be faithful to someone. Retarded.


So... its creepin toward naptime so i'm going to run. I'll probably post tomorrow as well or maybe later today.

fun fun

So.. its 10:41. I'm kinda drunk but not too much. Been feeling light headed a lot the past few days. Not used to it but it could be my monthly bill. It's nice to have somewhere to talk freely.

My babies are in bed... my son tried to stay up. He's very stubborn, always trying to get a freezer pop out of me and saying "momma word world" i swear. Little kids go through such stages. He was enamored with Elmo for a while, then he decided that he wanted to watch a Sid promo video that came with a word world DVD my hubby bought at hyvee. Then he was enamored with a few snip its on the video, word world, shrek (day in and out for nearly 3-4 months) then Cars (for nearly 3 months) now he's stuck on finding nemo. Its adorable but at least the little guy has taste.

My hubby is between jobs. I swear security companies are just full of BS. I don't' get why they are pissing him again, the reason he wasn't working cause they have incompetent employees. He may be a slacker but he's a good worker. Definitely a big guy that in a security position is an asset.

I'm drinking me a vodka and Pepsi with a little cherry grenadine in it. My eyes are crying an my head is throbbing. Maybe i should go to a doctor or something. It could be my prescription to my glasses. They told me to get them replaced in two years and its been almost 3 since i went in. The fact that i don't wear them when i am supposed to probably isn't helping anything. I swear, us as humans even though we know we shouldn't do things, even though we are educated and know what is and isn't' good for our bodies, especially as a medical transcriptionist student who reads and understands many things about the human body should follow some of the most minor pieces of advice they dish out. I mean don't get me wrong. I hate doing some things, like obvious things. But you know how it is. Most individuals don't heed the doctors advice unless they are dying.

So... I'm watching a movie called Away we go with Maya Rudolph (gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous and John Krasinski from the office) and its rather entertaining. Actually really good, kinda bummed that the hubby missed it while he did rent it. I told him i have never seen Casablanca and he says its an excellent movie, so tonight he rented it from me from Blockbuster. See i love red box for the 'I'm going to watch it tonight thing' but if you aren't' sure blockbuster is the way to go!

Hey I'm just gonna throw this out there, don't' wait until your 30s to have babies. Some of us wait, but the body might be willing no matter what age premenopause, but if you wait too long, you won't get to have them folks! Remember, 100 years ago, girls were having babies at 13. There are reasons, not only their life expectancy, that's our prime, be selfish and wait til you have your money or whatever and you will wish you wouldn't' have! Parenthood is wonderful folks, while it is trying, if you wait too long you'll be dissapointed and regretful!

Well i can't think of anything else at the moment. I'll add some more tomorrow. Good night folks. Sleep well or enjoy the start of your new day!